have u ever thought that your life is going to be controlled by someone else?
with or without u realising it, it is a fact. someone you might not even know that well could do that to you. at this moment, i somehow discover that it is happening to me.
the behaviour of that person really brings a lot of changes to my life. i cant really mingle around with the people i used to be friendly with. i am being blocked by a thick wall. a wall that can really destroy what i have in my hands now. if i failed to hold it tightly, im gonna be a loser. a pathetic loser.
you can imagine how hard it is to struggle living in this kind of life where you are not able to talk to these people you were closed to. because that person has influenced them to ignore me. knowing me myself, i used to curse & spit my damn words to this kind of person. i would confront and force them to swallow what came out from their bitchy mouth. but now, i realise it is not worth at all. i would just waste my good energy by letting myself saying those nasty things. its not good after all. buat tambah dosa je.
i had the thought of changing my behaviour - from the loudness ever to the golden silent. it will takes some time. and i would be so proud if i managed to do so. slowly but surely, i will. i know i will.
who will destroy you if not yourself? who will challenge you if not your own mind?
i just need to pray harder and more often than usual. i pray to the Mighty Creator to bless me with endless strength and happiness.
amin ya rabbal a'lamin.
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